WHAT I LEARNED FROM BEING A COUCH POTATO

I was home sick yesterday watching daytime TV. Since most of you have jobs, lives, etc. I thought I fill you in on what went down…

1PM (PRE-TV): I'M SICK, NOT DEAD
After texting in sick and then passing out, I woke up to 6 missed calls and a text message.

At last, some action on my phone besides "Low Battery".

It looks like a text message!

I got super excited... only to discover all six missed calls and voicemails belonged to my mother.

And the one text message I had was from my coworker who alerted me my mom called work to see if anyone in the office had swine flu.

Come on Jules, Swine flu was so 2008.

130PM: CEREAL AND CENSORED TV

I tried to be productive, but there's only so much you can do when your nose runs every five seconds. So I watched "The Sweetest Thing" which was on E!

Not the same movie when edited for cable. They should’ve renamed this made for TV version "The" because that’s all that was left.

Also, fun IMDB fact, the guy who pays Cameron Diaz love interest in this chick flick, is the same guy who plays the main guy on "Hung". 

And the writer of this movie, while this is her only screenplay, was a writer on "South Park" for many years...NOW YOU KNOW!

3PM RUDELY INTERRUPTED

So then I wanted to watch "Tyra" because I figured that's daytime TV at it's best.

And just as Tyra was about to tell me three words that could win me a man (which I'm sure did not include "I Watch Trya"), she was Kayned by an emergency weather warning.

Like I care.

Why do they put that on TV? WARNING it's raining outside. Thanks! That's why I'm sitting on the couch watching Trya.

THEN the dumb ass meteorologist had to get on the screen with her spray on tan, fake boobs, and red dress (who wears red on camera, seriously?), yeah I'm sure she has her degree in meteorology. The girl kept stumbling over the word "mass".

Also, can meteorologists start speaking English? I didn't study meteorology… I don't know what a "cold front" is. If I was stepping outside can you just tell me things I need to know like, how many layers should I wear? Or is this humidity going to mess up my hair?

330PM JERSEY SHORE MARATHON

AGAIN interrupted by a flood warning just as Snookie was about to get punched. NOT COOL.


...okay so my expired flu medication that I got on sale at Walgreens is kicking in.

Lesson Learned: Daytime TV getting interrupted by weather warnings may be TVs way of saying "get a life".