Monday, December 29, 2008

The "City"

I just watched the pilot of MTV's latest reality series The City  which you can see here:

You know the Hills' spinoff starring Whitney Port.  She's the one who always talks like she's talking to small child.

And after spending a summer in the city and being there saturday night.  I can confirm that this show is nothing like the actual city... well for most of the population at least.

Here's Why:

Stilettos and Meatpacking  Don't Mix - NO ONE I repeat NO ONE walks to work in stilettos in New York.  Especially if your work is in the cobblestone infested meatpacking district. It does not happen.  Think about it: the subway, vents, and cobblestone are all a perfect places to get your heel trapped.  But Whitney can do it.  She spent the entire 24 minutes on screen strutting all over the meatpacking's cobble stones in her high high heels and NOT ONCE was her heel trapped.  Lucky Bitch.

Saturday night my heel got trapped.  I fell.  Even though I was a few vodka tonics in, it still hurt....a lot.   Last summer this happened to me on 20 - 30 occasions, no joke.   Including the incident where I was wearing shorts a wedge sandals (a stupid mix) and slipped on some trash juice on my way to Pinkberry.  My knee is still scared and I can't look at those wedges the same.  I still haven't learned my lesson. 

Hunks don't volenteer to be "your personal Tour-guide" - Never happens.   And I just used the work "hunk" how very Judy Blume of me.   Then again I didn't have MTV casting helping me out.   However a homeless man once told me I have "legs like a flamingo" so I guess that's a start? 

Coworkers don't throw you Welcome to New York rooftop dinner parties - Was that staged or what?  "So nice to meet you... and your camera crew.   I'm going to throw you a roof top welcome to New York Dinner Party.  It's a win/win you get to make "friends" and I get more camera time!" 

The only welcome I got to New York was from my Taxi-TV.  Which I am kind of obsessed with.  Leno's headlines and Weekend Updates clips, PDiddy and Michael Phelps commercials?! What more could a girl ask for?!   They should have those EVERYWHERE.

Perhaps I am a little bitter that my New York experience wasn't as glamourous as Whitney's.  I wish I had the talent of strutting in stilettos on cobblestones, or could have the hunks rather than the homeless drawn to me.  And as much as I love my Taxi- TV, a rooftop welcome to New York would have been nice... 

It just cracks me up.  Once again reality TV is far from reality.

Friday, December 26, 2008

A Curious Benjamin and a Frosty Nixon

Another Family Tradition of mine is to go check out the new releases on Christmas Day.

This Christmas was no different.

I was a little disappointed that the long awaited Kate and Leo reunion in Revolution Road was not released on Christmas Day.... Thanks for nothing Santa.

So we opted for a double feature of  The Curious Case of Benjamin Button followed by Frost/Nixon.   Both good choices and both worth seeing.  Comparing the two is difficult but poignant.  

Here's what I liked about Button:

1.) Brad Pitt gets younger and hotter through the film- Although I have to admit, a 60 something Pitt, with mad scientist wild white hair is just if not more sexy than a 30 something James Dean Wannabe Pitt.  Incase you forget during the first two hours of the film that the wrinkly man is the "dreamy" Brad Pitt, the director reminds you with model shots of Pitt on boat, on a motorcycle, and in the mountains.  It almost feels like a Ralph Lauren ad montage.  But okay I guess that's why you go see Pitt in a movie.  
2.) Visually Beautiful - And I don't just mean Pitt, the colors were all so vibrant, from the wardrobe to the set design to Cate Blanchett's blazing red mane were all very visually stimulating

Things That Bugged Me:

1. Pitt's an okay actor- I know I get bashed for this opinion a lot.  But if you doubt me I urge you to see this movie and then rent Burn After Reading.  In Button, honestly Pitts wrinkles and CGI did most of the "acting" just like his Coen Brother's do was his crutch in Burn After Reading.  This was apparent when the wrinkles came off.  I thought to myself "Oh yeah he's cute, but the acting.. eh."
2. I'm Still Curious About Benjamin - 


You never find out about why Benjamin has this condition.  Something with a clock but it never makes sense of why only him?  I think they were too busy making Pitt look old to realize this 

3.  It Practically Begs for an Oscar - When you jam pack a film with Oscar veterans, release it over Christmas, and drop a whole lot of dough making it a period piece and making Brad old, you might as well open the film with caption that reads "Hey Academy how about you nominate this for best picture?!?"   Yes its good, but in a pretentious and forced way.  I respect films more when they are good in a effortless way.  Frost/Nixon and Milk nailed this. 

On that Note ... onto Frost/Nixon

I liked it because...

Nixon was awesome- the actor who played him (Frank Legella) was much taller than Nixon actually was.  But he was so convincing in his mannerisms and movement that the height didn't bother me

Great Story and well told -  Almost documentary style at times but still telling the story of David Frost and Richard Nixon I was drawn

It's one Flaw:

Gucci Loafers- in the very last scene Frost gives Nixon a pair of Gucci loafers, Nixon called feminine during their interview.  Nixon holds the box on a ledge over a ocean.  He takes out the shoes and places them back down on the ledge.  We zoom out and fade to black.  The movie's over.  Titles start saying what happened to Frost and Nixon after the interview blah blah blah.  I read it over and over.  Nothing.  The one thing I was most concerned for in that last scene is: What happened to the Gucci Loafers?  Did Nixon wear them?  Throw them over the ledge?  Give them to his wife?  

Do you think if I looked this up in some history book there might be the answer?  I'm concerned.

Overall two flicks worth seeing.  If you see them and an answer my curiosity about Benjamin or my  Gucci Loafer cliff hanger   I would greatly appreciate it

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

This is where I want to get my "hair did"

I passed this salon today in Fairfield (AKA John Mayer's hometown).  I'm not sure how I feel about it's name.

Do you get your hair cut  because it's too long or because you want to start a trend?

So I took the liberty and wrote a script for a local low budget commercial for Trendsetters Salon.  I'm thinking grainy footage and stock 80s music and bubble letters.

Friend: Hey did you do something  to your hair?
Costumer: Yeah I got it cut at Trendsetters Salon.
Friend:  Oh that explains the mullet.
Customer: Don't worry!  Every haircut at Trendsetters Salon is guaranteed to start a trend.  Soon this hair-don't will be the new hair-do.
Friend: Wow!  I think I'll get that mushroom cut I always wanted.
Customer: Do it! Just make sure you get it set at Trendsetters!

Announcer:  Trendsetter Salon.  Because it takes a bad haircut to start a trend.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Can't Wait to be a Cougar!

Did you know there are over 150,000 discounts for people over 50?

If I had that green stamp on the back of my license (see photo) do you know how many more movies I would see? T- Mobile devices I would own? Or how much dental work I would get?  These are all things people over 50 get discounts on.

For more info check out:

But then I got to thinking... What if the next time I went to the movies I asked for a senior ticket.? Would they card me?  Now that I'm 21 I miss my fake ID.  Dare I get a fake senior  ID?  And if I got one could I pull it off?  I mean with all the Botox these days can you really tell?  Demi Moore is technically a senior citizen and she looks around my age... so how dare they doubt me?!

Ha... this is just a thought... and it's probably crazy 

I really outdid myself this year

As I mentioned earlier - I am a holiday hype hater.

Which is why I like to leave my christmas shopping/ cooking/ decorating to the last possible minute.

This year was no different.

I decided that rush hour was the perfect time to begin my holiday shopping.  So after sitting in bumper to bumper traffic singing along to Elton John "Amoreena"(thanks to Dog Day Afternoon, my new favorite jam of the moment)  I finally made it to the Stamford (as in The Office) mall... after passing it about four times.

Then there was the parking lot.  Obviously there was no spaces.  But luckily I found one.  Actually I'm not sure if it was supposed to be a "space"  it said for "compact cars only"  and my old school Volvo's huge hood isn't really "compact" but several three point turns later, I somehow managed to wedge in there.

The shopping was overall smooth.  The biggest line I encountered was at Starbucks, so I skipped the doppio.  I was also going to see Santa - you know just to check in.  But the line was too long, and I was the only one over  the age of ten who was not accompanied by a small child.  I guess I'll have to wait until next year to ask Santa for that BB Gun (still waiting to see the Christmas Story TBS... still waiting...)

So after I finnished my shopping I went to go find my beloved volvo.  But I forgot where I parked.  That always happens.  I remember starring at the sign for a really long time.  Writing a mental note.  "Okay so I'm parked at some color with some number and some direction".  I  passed the meter maid and was tempted to ask "excuse me.... sir can you please help me find my hunter green volvo?  It's wedged in a make-shift parking spot and is most likely crooked and sticking out?"  But I decided that might get me a ticket.  Three parking level strolls later, and alas there it was!  I had to use the best of my yoga skills to work my way into the vehicle.

But the fun didn't stop there.  Somehow, and I'm still not sure how.  I wound up in south Stamford.  And as I learned today the southern part of most towns is usually the "seedy" part.  Five KFC/Taco Bells  later  I finally found the highway and my way home.

Which is where the real fun began.  For the past 20 years I have 3 Christmas duties:

1.) Put the Angel on the tree (see photo)-  which is followed by a "I hate that you still make me do this" annual snapshot and my Mom fixing it for 20-30 minutes

2.) Stage the nativity scene - But the clay baby in the manger was being such a diva... who does he think he is? Jesus Christ?

3.) Make cookies - and make a mess (see photo)  This year I managed to get more sprinkles and frosting on my face than the cookies... still not sure how that happened...

So as you can see I really outdid myself this year!   

 Actually not at all but thats totally something my mom would say.

Most importantly, I need to work on my motor skills both on the road and in the kitchen....

Monday, December 22, 2008

"I feel like I just found out my favorite love song was about a sandwich"- 27 Dresses

I apologize in advance if this comes off  a little Sex & The City , but I assure you just like a good pair of stilettos this post has a point.  ;)

 I just finished watching 27 Dresses with my boyfriends Ben and Jerry.  Followed by a hour of Sex

...and The City.  

 I know some night I'm having.

My chick flick fiesta made me realize something.  Why is it that media for women always seems to have dumbed down dialog?  I have the feeling this choice is based on the same logic of why the news is filled with alliterations: "Weather Worries" "Drenched by Downpours" "Beer on the Bus?" .... sound familiar? 

As  a journalism major I learned to use alliteration to catch your  "stupid short attention span audience" with  catchy catchphrases.  I feel this same technique is used in a  Sex and the City script.  If the puns don't grab you, "I'm good at crossword puzzles.  I'm not so good at people puzzles."   Then the alliteration will: "Later that evening the couple I was in had a couple of hours to plan a dinner party for a couple of couples"

Oh sorry that's repetition --- shouldn't there be a limit on the amount of times you use "couple" in a sentence?

So why do we do this?  Is the female viewer just too stupid or has too short of an attention span to listen to well phrased english sentences?  Do we crave those clever alliteration and pun filled witty sentences?  If so how many people do you know that actually speak like that? 

Which leads me to conclude chick flicks and Sex and the City may be  frankly fiction, but alliteration is always  awesome.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Milk Mustache

I saw Milk tonight.


And I mean it.  

This movie affected me.  It takes a lot for a film to affect me these days.  Usually this happens if the film itself feels true and real.  Almost every element of Milk from the 1970s footage, to the incredible dual perspective reflection shots, to James Franco's fro felt authentic.  

But I wonder if the rest of the country was as affected.  Is this film powerful enough to change minds?  Everyone I spoke to about Milk seemed to feel the same way.  But these people come from a similar liberal costal background like myself.  I'd love to be in a theater in middle America and see how the crowd would respond or feel after.   I can't help but wonder what if this film was released before election night.  It was possible.  Would the on vote on Prop 8 have been different?  Or was the timing perfect?  After seeing Milk do we now crave change?  I don't know about you but this film made me want to riot and get on a soapbox that actually read "soapbox."

While I did love this film  I did have some issues:

1.  Emile Hirsch - was this absolutely necessary?  His work no where near matched Penn's or Franco's.  Hirsch was playing the attitude of a stereotype.  He lacked genuine character.  Maybe Hirsch should  go back Into the Wild.

2. The Real Anne Kronenberg Was Hot - so how does a very plain looking Alison Pill's bland performance and frumpy wardrobe fit that?  Again another stereotype.

3.  Not Enough Beards - While Franco's creepy mustache was hot in a weird way, the 1970s facial hair I know and love could have been a little more.  Or maybe mustaches are the new beard?  If only mustaches were easier to say without sounding like a tool....

4.  The Opera- I had no idea how it fit the film until my friend (who is an opera major) explained it to me.   It's about dying for your art and your art still living when you die.  Milk essentially did this.  

Overall amazing work.  Oscar noms for sure.  But if Emile gets one I might start a riot. 

Cape Check?

I wore a sweater cape out in public last night.   

This inevitably lead to a night of  bashing from my friends.  

I love capes.  Capes allow your arms to be free,  you feel like a super hero, and they're trendy. But according to my friends capes serve no purpose, they make you look like a bat, and were trendy... in 2002.  

The best part about last night was when bars asked if we wanted to check our coats.  My friends would reply, "Please, but do you have a cape check for Gabi?"

As much as I want to think that my friends are wrong, and it's okay to rock sweater capes,  I just discovered they may have a point.  I came across the website, which sells all eco-friendly sweater capes to women over 60. (see hotties above)

Okay I think its time I check my cape.... for good*.

*some people can pull off sweater capes, I've just come to accept I may not be one of those people 

Friday, December 19, 2008

Things I wish my iPhone did

I have a love/hate relationship with my iPhone.

Here's how I think my phone could step it up a notch:

1. Be a LightSaber - I'm not saying it needs to cut things,  all I'm asking is for it to shoot out a light - because that would be really cool. On second thought if it cut things that would be convenient.  Someone would ask me if I had a knife and I would reply, "no but I have an iPhone."

2.  Have Skype - How cool would it be if you could video chat your calls?  I mean not for everyone especially not for my parents.   That would completely defeat the purpose of telling them I'm somewhere that I'm not when I'm out past curfew (yes I'm in college and still have a curfew when I come home) - but it would be fun to at least have that option

3.  Have a talking GPS -  when I got lost my first time driving in LA I took Melrose down to east LA driving an hour away from my intended destination --- thanks iPhone for not speaking up

4. Stay N' SYNC ....and I don't mean the band - I'm impressed that my phone syncs my iCal - it's like magic - so if it can do that, can't it sync my music and phones as well?   Because that would be awesome

5. Be more compatible - It's sad that iPod docks aren't meant for iPhones... it's very sad

6.  Stop taking pictures of yourself - I don't understand how or why it does this but it's getting out of hand (see picture above)

I just wanted to express these suggestions.  I am grateful for the phone that I have.  I do realize there are people out there who don't have a phone as cool as mine.    But I'd just thought I'd share... This is just what I have been deeply thinking about lately....

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Where Did A Christmas Story Go?

What ever happened to TBS playing A Christmas Story constantly between Thanksgiving and Christmas?!?

How am I ever going to know if Ralphie will get that BB Gun this time?!  Or if his tongue will get stuck on the pole again?

Last night Zorro was on and tonight some strange movie with Robots is on... if this has to do with being politically correct then NO THANKS.

This isn't "very funny" TBS... it's not funny at all....

I've come to accept its the holiday season

So I saw Four Christmases.... yes that's how you spell it... doesn't a plural Christmas look strange?!

I am a holiday hype hater.  I cringe at the sound of a premature "Deck the Halls."  I shiver when "Santa" spooks me at CVS on Black Friday (apparently he hangs out there these days).  I dread the moment when candy canes replace candy corn.  Rushing the seasons makes me feel like October - January is just one jam packed holiday month.  

But then I reach a time when I start accepting it 'tis the season.   I watch as many holiday movies as possible, (Home Alone is my fav, but I only own it on VHS), I eat lots of holiday can sweets (which all taste best with ice cream) and see those new Holiday Movie releases.

Which is why I saw Four Christmases tonight with my faux hawk loving mom... who unfortunately chooses not to sport her new do in public...yet.

The film had all the ingredients for a holiday flick:

1.) A Predictable Plot - I mean the title is called 4 Christmas... guess what Resse and Vince spend the entire 124 minutes doing....

2.) Things That Don't Happen In Real Life - live reporters do not put unsuspecting people live on camera and this certainly would never happen on more than one occasion

3.) Egg Nog -  I see more egg nog in holiday movies than I do in real life - which makes me sad because I like egg nog

I've come to accept it ... 

So this is Christmas....

A Pirate's Ship (say it ten times fast)


"Pirates get millions for ship, weapons"

To which I respond:

Pirates are real?!?!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

So I gave my mom a faux hawk

Trendy right? She loves it.

She then was mad at me for not giving her a proper homecoming hug.

To which I responded, in the metro world giving someone a faux hawk means so much more than a hug.

I really think this suits her.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Worst Week = Worst Idea

I was checking out this show "Worst Week."  I don't recommend it.   It isn't funny at all.   With the exception of Fred Willard.

But for some reason I just couldn't stop watching it.  

I think it was because I just watched How I Met Your Mother and I wanted more (or at least more Neil Patrick Harris).   Last Tuesday the same thing happened to me and I ended up watching Dr. Horrible's Sing -a-long blog until 3AM.

Since I watched all the HIMYM (wow abbrevs) on I decided to see what other fine programing the network could offer.  Only to discover CBS does not offer fine programing aside from HIMYM.  While watching Worst Week I began to notice that all the commercials were for Viagra.  In fact, the show was sponsored by Viagra.  And the plot encouraged old people to have sex.

Lesson Learned:  Apparently I have the TV taste of a wrinkly cougar. 

Unsexy and the city

I find a lot of crap on the streets of Boston.

Empty beer cans.

Crumbled up Metros. (the newspaper and the men)

The freedom trail.

So you could imagine my curiosity when I came across this:

A lone black high heel with a Dr. Scholls pad.

A shoe says a lot about a person.   A heel shows that person probably doesnt do a lot of walking (I mean let's be honest how many cobble stone blocks can one strut in  stillettos?) 

But, there was nothing glamorous about this heel.  If the Dr. Scholls wasn't enough, the sides were worn and creased by what must have been a heavy stomper.   The shoe's pleather appeared to be fringing at the edges.

In fact when I looked closer I noticed something.  The shoe was VERY large.  If I had to guesstimate I would say it was a size 14 (do they make sizes that big?)  It must have been a drag queen's. 

I immediately thought of the shoe's situation.  What prompted the owner to leave it here?  Where was the match?   And what was the drag queen doing hopping down Mass Ave with one Payless pump?  I bet the owner was just like "Fuck it" and threw the shoe.   Or maybe it's leftover from a shoe hit and run.  Or perhaps it was some artist who was trying to make a statement about feminism or some bullshit and thought a blogger like myself would be intrigued.

Well you got me. 

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Why Blog

So a few days ago I had all of these ideas to blog about.

But I forgot them all.