Monday, November 9, 2009

Nike Pumps For Your Boobs

Yes, this is a thing.

It's like Austin Power's Swedish made penis enlarger, but for boobies.

The boy sent this video to me at work:

Do you think he's making a subtle suggestion?

He prefaced it with "They're like a Nike Pumps, but for your boobs."

You see, in order to understand "girly parts" men need to relate it to sports.  Why else do you think guys use baseball to talk about sex?


After spending a good five minutes studying this Japanese commercial, while hoping no one walked by my desk at work thinking I was watching Asian porn; I was perplexed.


First of all they call this boob pump "God's Hands".   I think there is a lot of other places God's hand could be.  Such as working with a scientist to help find a cure for AIDS, cancer or end global warming.  The last place I would expect God’s hands to be is feeling up an Asian's A-cups.  So basically according to this product, God is a pervert?


I say Asian because this is a Japanese product.  I've heard the stereotype of all Asian women having an androgynous flat-chested body.  Is this true?  Is the commercial being racist or does it just know its audience?


Clearly this would never sell in the states.  Us American women are too fat to ever need a product like this.  How about a boob deflator for us lopsided ladies?  We can call it "God's Hands Let Go".


Also I don't love the design of this "bra".  It's obvious lace trim covers half of your boob. There's no way to hide this bra under a low cut shirt.  You might as well wear this bra with a sign that says, "I pumped these up."


Also the company is called "She's Mine."  Really?  It's that what lingerie is for?  To "mark your territory?"  


So if this was a subtle hint, I'm going to have to decline.  But I admit.  It would be fun to play with "God's Hands" for a hot second.


Size B


Size D


Size B


Size D


So where do you get one Japanese made boob enlarger?  Yeah baby, Yeah! 


  1. So Gabi
    Is this the real reason for Jeremy Priven's "man boobs"
    He claims it was soy milk, but this is a whole new way of looking at his chest.

  2. hahaha! ok so this is hilarious and it's chinese! i can understand some of it! my fav part is when she goes "for work i prefer b, when i shop i turn it up to a c for a sexier look, and for partying i prefer d, really hot and sexy!" and when the guy goes "oh thats big, that's even bigger, WOW that's huge."

    i'll look for one next time i'm in hong kong! :-)