WHAT I WOULD'VE TWEETED

What I would’ve tweeted… If there was Twitter back then. For real you can follow me on Twitter here: http://twitter.com/GMConti

(That was my Perez Hilton impression...)

GMConti

That's you!

Just got woken up from the best nap ever. Sticky.

3:00AM July 18^th, 1987 via birth

My mom keeps taking pictures of me. There’s cake. Wish I had teeth.

5:00PM July 18^th, 1988 via 1^st Birthday

Mom & Dad want to go on this thing they call the “Subway”. So I hailed my first cab.

3:30PM March 2^nd, 1989 via 2 years old.

Saw the Little Mermaid. Sad I couldn’t meet the cast after.

3:30PM March 2^nd, 1990 via 3 years old.

A boy bit me. I bit him back. I got a time out, and he got a cookie. This makes me want to burn the bra I don’t have yet.

1:30PM September 12^th, 1991 via 4 years old.

Watching the Wizard of Oz again. You never know, something could change this time!

6:30PM June 12^th, 1992 via 5 years old.

Moved to Connecticut. I hope I don’t start wearing pastels.

3:30PM November 12^th, 1993 via 6 years old.

Just saw the Lion King. Apparently real cats don’t like getting held up while you attempt to sing “The Circle of Life”.

4:00PM June 22^nd, 1994 via 7 years old.

I LOVE Alanis Morissette. Best cassette tape EVER. Now I know what “ironic” means.

3:30PM October 15^th, 1995 via 8 years old.

If I wear Soccer sneakers, people will think I can play sports…

3:30PM February 12th, 1996 via 9 years old.

CAMP! I’m the only non-Jew without a Baby-G watch. Well at least I have my Tomagachi.

3:30PM July 20th, 1997 via 10 years old.

First day of Middle School. If I dress like Cher from Clueless, I’ll be popular like her, right?

7:30AM August 29th, 1998 via 11 years old.

Got boobs! Also getting a lot of hugs from boys…

2:45 PM September 20th, 1999 via 12 years old.

Mitzvah Season! Still not Jewish. Please stop yelling at me. I can’t read the torah.

5:30PM April 10th, 2000 via 13 years old.

First day of High School. Better wear my Abercrombie shirt so I can fit in.

7:30AM September 1^st, 2001 via 14 years old.

I have a crush, he's tall, handsome, loves fashion, musicals… and men…Damnit!

9:30PM May 10th , 2002 via 15 years old.

Got my first fake ID. The girl’s black. Good thing I wear lots of bronzer!

10:30AM July 18th, 2003 via 16 years old.

Got a sidekick! All I need is a small dog, a fake tan, and a sex tape to be JUST like Paris Hilton.

2:30PM March 5th, 2004 via 17 years old.

Collage! Now if I could just spell “College” right…

2:30PM September 5th, 2005 via 18 years old.

Lets face it, Chinchillas serve no purpose other than being worn - #ThingsISaidToAVegan

5:30PM April 9th, 2006 via 19 years old.

New crush, he's tall, handsome, loves fashion, musicals… and he’s straight?

#OnlyAtEmerson.

5:30PM September 9th, 2007 via 20 years old.

FiNaly 21!!! YAyyyY! Drinkingggg… hahahaha MuSic! Wheram I?

asdalks;nrei s,anfdwliher

#drunk

5:30PM September 9th, 2008 via 21 years old.

Has officially lost my glasses... now how will people know I'm smart and alternative?! Oh yeah, and how will I see things?

#LA

5:30PM December 9th, 2009 via 22 years old.