NINE & THE JERSEY SHORE ARE PRETTY MUCH THE SAME THING...

In other words, the critically acclaimed film, Nine, (which I just saw) is a lot like controversial reality show, Jersey Shore.

 

You might think these two have nothing in common, but think again.

 

THEY BOTH HAVE GUIDOS

 

In Jersey Shore, they all call themselves “Guidos” or “Guidettes”  (the female Guido).  Which according to cast member DJ Pauly D, a guido is “being Italian.  It's representing, family, friends, tanning, gel, everything.  I have a tanning bed in my house, that's how serious I am about being a guido."

 

WOW.  I love how tanning and hair gel is equated with family and friends.

 

In Nine the main character’s name is Guido, Guido Contini (very close to my last name).  He is Italian, but doesn't go strutting around shirtless with a fake tan (he lives in Italy, the tan’s natural).  He also doesn’t sport steroid induced muscles and a blowout, although he does have an affinity for hair gel and style (gelled back hair, skinny ties, and Raybans, it is the 60s after all).

 

THEY BOTH HAVE ITALIAN PRIDE

The Jersey Shore expresses this pride with a large Italian flag painted on the side of their house, as well as tattoos of the Italian flag all over their bodies, in case you missed the giant flag outside.  The casting call for the show apparently asked for "loud and proud Italian Americans who are self proclaimed “Guidos” and “Guidettes”.

 

In Nine, Fergie sings a song called "Be Italian"

 

Be Italian, (Be Italian)/

You rapscallion! (You rapscallion)/

Live today as if it may become your last!/

 

We know those Jersey Shore boys live each day as it's their last. With all that UV radiation, steroids and punching girls in bars, their days must be limited...

 

 

THEY’RE BOTH PLAYERS

To quote Sammie Sweetheart on The Jersey Shore, "I'm not looking for Mr. Right, I am looking to break a lot of hearts and get with a lot of good hot sexy Guidos.  My number one mission is to go out and find the hottest Guido and take him home."

 

Ambitious.  Sweatheart is as ambitious about her lovemaking, as Contini is about his filmmaking. Yes, he’s a player too… but unlike Sammie he doesn’t have to try so hard.  In Nine, Contini has lots of ladies.  I think nine, hence the name of the movie, right?  Okay I wasn’t really paying attention.  I only listening to the singing part, much like how I watch Glee.  Actually, just kidding, he only has a wife and mistress.  My mother tells me this is common with Italian men or "Do-do-dos."  

 

In conclusion, Nine and the Jersey Shore both have guidos.

 

I did have one qualm with Nine though.

 

Fergie was fine.  Kate Hudson was great, although her flat body was a little distracting.  Sofia Loren while orange, looked less old than she did at the Oscars last year, can you believe she’s in her 70s!  And I was not as distracted by Nicole Kidman’s forehead Botox as I was during Australia. 

 

But there was one MAJOR flaw with this movie.

 

In one scene they have a champagne toast.  And it’s with a bottle of Moet.  Clearly exposed, product placement perhaps?  Also I thought this was a period piece, that bottle looked rather modern.  I’m pretty sure I saw the same one at Trader Joes the other day….

 

Well I’m gonna go “Be Italian”.  Whatever the hell that means.