Tuesday, December 1, 2009


And by "spooning with John Mayer" I mean curling up next to my laptop as it plays his latest album, "Battle Studies."  

Mom, please stop worrying about the radiation. 

And I know in my last blog I said I would compare John Mayer to Kris Allen, as Entertainment Weekly did.  But after much thought I realized this would involve me actually listening to Kris Allen's new album, and that just seemed too tedious.   

He spells his name with  "K"  I think that's as exciting as it's going to get.   Seriously which album would you rather listen to?


My first impression on this juxtaposition:  how can we even compare the two?

One is an accomplished artist and one of the best guitar players of our time, while the other won American Idol.


What is he looking up at?  God?  Because it's definitely not Seacrest... 

So, you can understand my confusion when I discovered Entertainment Weekly gave both John Mayer's and Kris Allen's new album the exact same rating: "B-".


"B-," that's the worst.    I wound't eat at a resturant with that rating. JK I've eaten at Fred 62.  Mmm milkshakes. B minus is almost a "C", definitely not an "A", it's almost like it's saying, "B-" better.

Why are they giving John Mayer's new album the same rating as Allen's which they claim "Lack[s] originality" and that Allen "stiffs around a musical identity but never quite curls up in one" and "gets stylistically lost."

Whereas Mayer seems to have it all down in what EW refers to as "Mayernomics" (I’d read that book), which is: "an expertly calibrated study of soft-pedal confessions searching lyricism, and mildly groovy guitar licks."

How EW can give someone with no "musical identity" and an "expert" the same rating baffles me.

Okay, maybe I'm just being bitter.  Like that one time when I got a B- on my research paper on the Controversy of Citizen Kane, which I slaved over, and my slacker friend got an A on her half baked paper she wrote the night before on Adderall about why she likes puppies.

Okay, yeah puppies are cute.  But Citizen Kane says "It's terrific" on the poster, so you know it was gipped of sweeping the Oscars. 

Back to Battle Studies.

I'll admit it, Mayer's Battle Studies is no Abbey Road.  I also didn't love it at first.  It felt like he was selling out with this soft rock crap.   Any thing remotely resembling a guitar solo sounded hushed.  On certain tracks I felt like I was listening to Seal.

And don't get me started on his Taylor Swift collaboration.  Can you really call it a “duet” and Swift is whispering in the background?

Also, the first track.  “Heartbreak Warfare,” distracts me because it sounds a lot like that song “8th World Wonder,”…. Especially around the chorus part.

Here’s Heartbreak Warfare:


And here’s “8th World Wonder.”


(ignore the anime)

Do you hear it?

But then I let the lyrics and melodies seep in.  That's where I think the true talent of this album lies.  Some of those melodies are just beautiful.  And as a whole it's a great album, with a thematic sound and a clear mood.   It's also an album you can sleep to, do work too, and play over and over again without getting bored.

Some of my favorite lyrics:

"I was born in the arms of imaginary friends"

Makes me feel popular because as a kid I had no friends.  Except for my cats, who were really more like "sisters".

 (That's another story).

"You whisper come on over cause you're two drinks in."

It happens.

"I don't remember you looking any better.  But then again I don't remember you."

That lyric always makes me laugh.

And "Perfectly Lonely."

Yep, that’s me.

What's your take on the new Mayer?

I think it's missing his cover of California Dreaming, which seriously rocks.  I would have prefered to to "Crossroads". You know the one he did on Conan with that boy’s choir, who were a little flat.  I wish I were in that choir...


Hopefully it will be on the next John Mayer Trio album (fingers crossed).

Okay enough with Mayer obsession.  I think my blogs about him make me candidate for a restraining order. 

But my mother encourages it!  

She sent me this in an e-mail the other day:


The similarity between Gabi & John Mayer:

1. You are both from Connecticut

2. You both have hazel eyes

3. You both do stand up comedy

4. Campari... John drinks Campari... you wrote a recipe drink for Campari (I have it taped up on the kitchen cabinet)for me and Dad. We are a Campari household! How many people do you know drink Campari (your mom & dad drink Camapri)so it's related to you!

Sooo the next time you are at the Chateau Marmount sitting at the Courtyard Restaurant and John Mayer is across the room send him over a Campari & soda with lots of lime!


She lost me on the whole Campari comparison.  Could we be more general?  So if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to camp out at Chateau Marmont with a sign reading “I have hazel eyes, I’m from Connecticut and I do stand-up”  while holding a campari with extra lime and we’ll see what happens.   Thanks MOM!

1 comment:

  1. Your welcome, baby...
    Loved your blog! Made me laugh so much!
    You and John Mayer... definately an A+!xxx