Monday, December 29, 2008

The "City"

I just watched the pilot of MTV's latest reality series The City  which you can see here:

You know the Hills' spinoff starring Whitney Port.  She's the one who always talks like she's talking to small child.

And after spending a summer in the city and being there saturday night.  I can confirm that this show is nothing like the actual city... well for most of the population at least.

Here's Why:

Stilettos and Meatpacking  Don't Mix - NO ONE I repeat NO ONE walks to work in stilettos in New York.  Especially if your work is in the cobblestone infested meatpacking district. It does not happen.  Think about it: the subway, vents, and cobblestone are all a perfect places to get your heel trapped.  But Whitney can do it.  She spent the entire 24 minutes on screen strutting all over the meatpacking's cobble stones in her high high heels and NOT ONCE was her heel trapped.  Lucky Bitch.

Saturday night my heel got trapped.  I fell.  Even though I was a few vodka tonics in, it still hurt....a lot.   Last summer this happened to me on 20 - 30 occasions, no joke.   Including the incident where I was wearing shorts a wedge sandals (a stupid mix) and slipped on some trash juice on my way to Pinkberry.  My knee is still scared and I can't look at those wedges the same.  I still haven't learned my lesson. 

Hunks don't volenteer to be "your personal Tour-guide" - Never happens.   And I just used the work "hunk" how very Judy Blume of me.   Then again I didn't have MTV casting helping me out.   However a homeless man once told me I have "legs like a flamingo" so I guess that's a start? 

Coworkers don't throw you Welcome to New York rooftop dinner parties - Was that staged or what?  "So nice to meet you... and your camera crew.   I'm going to throw you a roof top welcome to New York Dinner Party.  It's a win/win you get to make "friends" and I get more camera time!" 

The only welcome I got to New York was from my Taxi-TV.  Which I am kind of obsessed with.  Leno's headlines and Weekend Updates clips, PDiddy and Michael Phelps commercials?! What more could a girl ask for?!   They should have those EVERYWHERE.

Perhaps I am a little bitter that my New York experience wasn't as glamourous as Whitney's.  I wish I had the talent of strutting in stilettos on cobblestones, or could have the hunks rather than the homeless drawn to me.  And as much as I love my Taxi- TV, a rooftop welcome to New York would have been nice... 

It just cracks me up.  Once again reality TV is far from reality.

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