I CAN'T SPELL FOR SHIT

No seriously, I am disabled when it comes to spelling.

I'm not sure how. I was never hooked on phonics.  My private catholic school probably thought Jesus would teach us phonics or something, so I never learned.  Then when I moved to Westport they were more concerned that I pronounced, "ask" as "axe" due to my New York accent.  I would often “axe” my friends, "Hey can use axe your mother if you can come ova after school?" This is what happens when your Brooklyn-ese Grandmother who calls a waffle ice cream sandwich a “light snack” raises you.

They wanted to put me in speech therapy for being "too New York" for Fairfield County.  My parents flipped a shit and taught me "ask” sounds like "task" and within seconds my accent was cured.  

Back to phonics, I was looking back at my posts with embarrassment noticing how I misspelled the simplest words. Note to fellow bloggers, blogger does not have the best spell check.  Be sure to triple check in Word.  So glad I discovered this 50 posts in.

Of course my mother realizes this as well.  My mother notices everything.  The nearly invisible stain on my shirt, lint on my pants, even uneven make-up.  I never forget the day my mother told me my blush was too bright as she stared up at me in her bright coral lipstick.  Love you Mom.

While my mother will point out my flaws (which are many) she also tries to make me feel better.  She thinks this comes by comparing me to Kim Kardashian.  In her e-mail to me she writes: 

Hey Gabi,

You are right up there with Kim Karadishian!

She twittered how much she loves to Mediate and everyone should mediate.

E News said " we all should Mediate...  Kim you should check your 'spell check'

before you twitter!  It's Me d i t a t e.!"

Gabi, she left out the " T " ...Meditate! Thought this was funny after we talked last night!

You are a great writer and all great writers can't spell because they think faster than they write!

So Gabi, you're normal and a funny and great writer, too... so there E news!

Loved your BLOG!!!

Love ya baby, MomXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I’m right up there with Kim?  Is that a compliment? Last I checked the only thing “great” about her was her ass. 

The sad thing is, I had to read that twice to realize "meditate" was spelled wrong.  And I do yoga. Kinda…

 

Spelling is hard!  Am I alone on this?